Sad Distractions

39 weeks. Each day it becomes more and more real that soon I'll be meeting my baby girl. I thought I was going to be SOOOO patient but as each hour passes Ryan and I continually look at each other and say, "She could come at ANY minute."

Of course, I really haven't had many signs that that will happen any time soon. I've had no significant contractions, just these little baby Braxton hicks here and there. I went to the doctor two days ago and she let me know I was at 1 cm and 60% effaced, but hey, that's something! Of course, I'm being more positive on my blog but close friends and family know how impatient I've been lately. My impatience divides among three different things: my excitement to see Elliana, my anxiousness to get labor over and done with, and my desire to get my body back. The doctor said that if things still haven't progressed by my due date, she'll sweep my membranes which I'm not entirely sure I want her doing. If baby is ready, then she'll come. As much as I hate to say it, I can live with waiting for baby to make the first move. In the meantime, Ryan and I are saying lots of prayers that she comes soon so that I don't have to be induced.

Despite our anxiousness to get baby here, we've had some recent catastrophes that have helped distract us. Poor Penny has been through some rough times lately. If you're my Facebook friend you're probably tired of me posting stuff about her but if you're not, here's what has happened.

The Friday before Halloween, Ryan and I went to go get pumpkins. We normally leave the window down for Penny to look out of and this car ride was no exception. We took a left turn a bit hard and Penny, alarmed by the sharp move, went with the momentum and hopped out the window. I screamed bloody murder as I watched the car behind us nearly run her over (I thought they HAD run her over at first). Terrified, she began to take off down the sidewalk with a busy road just a couple feet away. I hopped out of the car, pregnant belly and all, and began to chase her. I was so sure that in a matter of seconds she was going to veer into traffic and be killed. Luckily, she peeled off away form traffic and into a large forested area. Ryan ran past me and told me to get back to the car as we had left it in the middle of the lane. Everyone that passed was incredibly nice, probably because they saw the whole scene take place. The guy behind us, who I thought might have nicked her, stopped and helped us look for awhile. He also assured me that he didn't feel his car hit her, but I was jumping to the worst conclusions. Of course, even if he had, it wouldn't have been his fault. If anything I blamed myself that night because several times I had had the thought that we needed to roll the window up more. Guilt aside, we couldn't find her for at least an hour. It was getting dark and in my current pregnant state I was feeling rather useless. Ryan met back up with me and I sobbed as we went to pick up flashlights from a friends house. We got back to where we thought she might be and Ryan was finally able to find her. She was at the bottom of a hill and she was having a hard time moving her right front paw. We all got in the car and rushed down to the Emergency Vet. They assessed her and told us it was nothing but a sprain. We were so relieved and felt that so many prayers had been answered. She got a cute pink cast, a couple of pain killers and all seemed well.

Fast forward to yesterday.

Ryan and I finally removed the cast upon vets orders. Underneath, just above her wrist there were two giant gaping holes. Shock! What had happened? We were sure that there had been no cuts the night we took her to the Emergency Vet. And these cuts were deep! We took her to the vet who said that the cuts ran down to the muscle and were infected. He believes that they might have been injection points for the sedative that was given to her when her cast was originally wrapped. Was it a bad needle, perhaps? Maybe her skin just did not react well with the sedative. Either way, we're still reeling from everything that has happened. The vet also said that her wrist was not yet fully healed. So we left her there for a few hours to get stitched up and another cast and we waited. We picked her up later that afternoon to this sad little face and 12 stitches.

It's been a rough couple of weeks for all of us, especially Penny. We laughed and teased when she had on her pink cast, but now it hurts me to see her like this. This is the first time she's ever had any issues medically. I doubt she's ever going to feel safe in the car again if all these car rides end up being vet visits. Despite my sadness, she really has been a trooper. We're giving her lots of love, treats, and prayers. Healing is hard, but we feel like it was a blessing we found the cuts when we did. Who knows how much worse they would have gotten if we hadn't taken off her cast? Makes me ill to think about it. The only other issue we have now is how we're going to balance her and baby when she comes. I'm sure it'll be fine, especially since we already have people willing to help. In the meantime, can you guys pray for her? She needs some extra blessings. Please and thank you!

In happier news, we have a crib! A beautiful, on sale, and discounted crib courtesy of my wonderful parents!

It feels so nice to have a place for her when she comes now. She might not be sleeping there for the first week or two but I'm so glad we have a crib now! It makes things more real somehow. Not only that, but I LOVE it. It's just beautiful.

Ok, since I've been a little emotionally drained I'm just going to end it all here.

Week 39

Weight gain: 30. I don't even care any more. Plus, this is still pretty healthy weight gain.

Cravings: I've really wanted soda. Not just any soda. Dr. Pepper. I've barely had any caffeine at all while I've been pregnant but Dr. Pepper just sounds amazing. In addition to that, all I want is cookies. Sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, oreos. All of it. But I'm pretty sure that's because I'm stressed and NOT because of the pregnancy. I know my stress foods and cookies are definitely it.

Progress: Like I said earlier I'm 1 cm and 60% effaced. The Doctor also mentioned that she's dropped a bit more which makes sense because I've been feeling this insane amount of pelvic pressure and pain. It's mostly lightning, sharp pain like she's using a knife to dig her way out. Pleasant, no? I've also had a lot of back pain. Sciatic pain to be exact. It's not super new or awful since I've dealt with it before, but it's worth mentioning. The last thing I wanted to mention was that baby is just a tad posterior meaning her face isn't quite facing my spine. If you're new to baby stuff, babies deliver more easily when they are head down and facing your spine. If they are facing your tummy then you'll most likely have awful back labor and your baby will be delivered 'sunny side up'. It's not a huge deal since she's still in a good position but it might be the reason for my back pain. According to my doctor and my own personal experience with her, baby is facing my right side. I still feel little jabs on my right side from her little fists and I get little kicks in my ribs but only on the right side. Hopefully, she'll make the move before she delivers. There are exercises I can do but I think I need a birthing ball and unfortunately I don't have one. Other than all those things, progress is slow going. By the way, if any of you expecting mom's out there have babies that aren't in the optimal position try checking out this website on how to get your baby to turn. It's not completely fool proof but better to try than be forced to have a c-section, am I right?

Emotional: As I said above, I'm emotionally drained. Not just from Penny, but every twinge or pain makes me question whether or not baby is coming. Most people I've talked to and most stories I've read assure me that when I have a real contraction I'll know it. So I'm just going to forget about it and relax till I can say, "Whoa, that's new."