Learning Lessons

I must warn you that this blog might be a little emotional. We must have hopped on a crazy train somewhere these past couple weeks because it’s been just that. A crazy train...

First off, I think I need to apologize. I tend to over share and I’ve started to see how that tends to make people a little uncomfortable, including my husband. So for the future I’ll be dialing things down on our personal/financial life. As far as how I feel about things, I’ll probably keep that just as raw and honest as usual. I’m not one to lie about the state of my life and pretend that everything is sunshine and daisies when it’s not. Not that I’m not grateful for what I have, I just tend to see life more realistically. I’ve been called negative numerous times but I tend to think of it as seeing things as they are. You’re welcome to think I’m a Debby Downer or you can appreciate my honesty for what it is, which is a genuine desire to connect with other people through my blog. I like to know I’m not alone so I hope my experiences and feelings can put others at ease.

Moving on, I just want to point out that I’m 35 weeks pregnant. Insanity. That means that within the next month or so, the crazy people at the hospital are going to allow me to leave with an infant. What? You sure? I mean, this is a tiny person who like, needs constant care and stuff. Me? Really? Oookay, crazy.

All kidding aside, I’ve really started to get excited. Up until now I’ve been incredibly stressed, writing my birth plan, washing clothes, getting last minute items. It doesn’t seem like a lot that I’ve got to do, but it’s more of an emotional strain thinking that I’ll be unprepared for baby somehow. I feel pretty confident that we have everything we need and that I’ve prepared everyway I can. Now all that’s left is leaving it up to God and hoping things go smoothly. (By the way, if you'd like to read my birth plan, make sure and check it out here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MwE1mtCXifdAgn7KxWHx832cKc51hDy1aVdqsQS_BXE/edit?usp=sharing )

I keep getting this nagging feeling that she’s going to come early but the likelihood is so slim. A lot of the ladies I know who went into labor before their due date had had a lot more progression than I have had. For example, I’ve had barely any Braxton hicks contractions and I’m not even really sure she’s completely dropped. Whether my feeling is intuition or wishful thinking, only time will tell. I’m of the opinion that she can come when she’s done cooking. That might be two weeks early or even two weeks late, whenever baby is ready is when I will be ready.

Now, I didn’t always feel this way, but really, my third trimester has not been that ultra super duper uncomfortable. Yes, I’m massive. Yes, I wake up seven million times a night. Yes, I’ve had occasional back pain. Overall? I feel pretty good. I believe it has everything to do with appreciating how much better the other two trimester’s are over the first trimester. And if I’m completely honest, I’ve had a pretty good pregnancy. I’ve had a healthy baby, minimal throw ups (I mean, I’ve been able to work my whole pregnancy), and each problem I’ve encountered I’ve been able to either overcome, or get used to. I know some women have it SOO much harder, so I genuinely feel lucky. Also, I think it’s harder on women who have been skinny their whole lives. I’m used to carrying around extra weight so it doesn’t bother me as much. Perks of being a fatty? Meh. I do have to admit though, that I am excited to get my body back. I love feeling baby move and sharing that bond, but sometimes I would JUST like to smoke a pack, or get TOTALLY hammered, you know?

Kidding.

In other news, I had my baby shower out here. It was hilarious fun, with teriffic food, and we made out like bandits! We got tons of what we needed plus a couple of unexpected gifts like a super awesome swing and the expensive travel system we've had our eyes on for months. I was so floored by how generous people were. We got SO MUCH! Here are some pictures:

 

 

Me getting the swing. Our stroller'n'carseat combo is the giant box next to me!

 

My two favorite dresses.

 

Crazy amount of blankies

 

Toys!

 

All of the newborn to 3 month clothes. What?! And sleepy Ryan :)

Anyway, I have a more serious topic to address. I got an incredibly loving card from someone a few days ago with no return address and no name. Upon reading the card, I fell into tears. I kind of don’t want to share it on here because of how special it was but I do want to thank my anonymous friend. In addition to the touching words, they also sent $103 dollars that they won through a radio competition. I know this person probably needed that money just as much as we did so it really humbled me to the core. I’m not a very giving person. I tend to not think outside the needs of myself and my family, which isn’t the worst way to live, but this person was such a good example to me of having the love of Christ for others. So, thank you, whoever you are. You gave me a much greater gift than just the money you sent. Ryan and I are both so grateful and have both decided to be more giving, especially during hard times. It will take practice but we are so grateful for good examples like you.

So I thought I’d end with a little bit of my normal pregnancy update stuff. I don’t have a picture for 35 weeks but here’s one for 34:

Week: 34-35

Total Weight Gain: 27 lbs. My goal was 25-30 so I’m not too bummed about it. Also, I’ve kind of reached a Zen about my weight. For a long time I felt all this shame about my body and then it just disappeared. All I can do is eat healthy and exercise. Sometimes I don’t eat healthy. For example, sometimes all I eat all day is chocolate chip pumpkin bread. So sue me. I’ve been walking nearly every day for about three weeks now so I feel pretty good. And really, I can’t do anything about my weight right now. I can’t LOSE weight, so I’m just going to accept it.

Cravings: TACO SOUP. Once again though I’m not so sure it’s a craving as much as it’s just the yummiest soup on the planet. It’s just so warm and flavorful. Slap some cheese in there and it’s just the yummiest of all yummy. I’m pretty sure that I single handedly took out the last batch. Ate most of it myself. SO. WORTH. EVERY. BITE. And it’s worth the heartburn because I most definitely throw a little tapatios in my soup to spice it up a bit. I’m really making sure this baby feels her 1/8^th Mexican that she’s getting from her daddy J

Major Symptoms: I think the biggest things I deal with is either the weird insomnia or the crazy fatigue. They of course follow one after the other, the insomnia usually starting the fun. A new thing I’ve had is pelvic pain which I’ve heard is a sign that your baby has dropped, but I don’t think she’s dropped a massive amount. Is that possible? To only drop a little? Am I crazy?

Emotionally: I feel drained but super crazy blessed. I feel a lot more excitement and a surprising amount of confidence!

P.S. Also, I just found out that another of my sisters is expecting! Whaaaa? That means three of us right now are pregnant! That also means 14 grandkids for my lucky parents! So far one sister is having a boy and we’re still waiting to know on baby number three. Talk about crazy! Anyway, as a small request, can I ask that all of you keep Ryan, baby and me in your prayers? We’re going to need it as we finally reach these last weeks and I just know that of all the things I’ve tried to calm myself, prayer is the most effective. In return I’ll pray for all of you! See? That’s a fair trade!

One last thing, I’d love to hear your labor and delivery stories. I know quite a few of you have blogs or maybe you’ve written them down somewhere. Either way, I’d love it if you could either post a link below or email me your experience if you get a chance. I need all the wisdom and help I can get from you veterans out there. My email is salworkman@gmail.com if you don’t already have it.