Painting with Words

Breath in

Breath out

Count to 10

....count to 10 again

It's been a bit of a stressful day. Fortunately I just got home from the gym where I sweat away the swear words.

I've been thinking about what to write about. Everything is the same with me, with my health. I still struggle eating right. I had 6 packs of sixlets which adds up to 48 sixlets. I don't even like sixlets. Yet there I was cramming sixlets into my mouth like a crazy person .

In other news I need a new job. Even though I love the people I work with, it ain't goin no where. I have no place to move up to, no room to grow. I have no motivation to do better because what does it matter. Not only that but, uh, no my dream has never been filing paper or working from 8:00 to 5:00. I understand that some loser out there is going to tell me that I need to "pay my dues" but,
A. gag me and
B. why am I paying dues at a company I can never move up in?

Pointless.

The other dumb thing is that I keep looking for secretary jobs like that's something I want to do. So today I started looking at other options. This blog for example. I could make money off doing this. I really do love writing so why the hell not?

I also looked up free lance writing gigs on Craigslist. Everyone wants sports writers. Why do we need sports writers? The only thing worse than watching sports is listening to people talk about them. I can't even imagine how painful it must be to READ about sports. Ugg...

Needless to say, there's not much. Also, I was unaware that Sacramento was in such a great need of topless models. Or party girls? Come on, is that really a talent?

Good job Craigslist. Keepin it classy.

Anyway, if you guys know of anything that might be a good fit for me, send me a lovely little message.

You know I've always been much better at expressing myself in writing than in person. I'm much cooler in writing than in person. I've tried getting into Instagram and its just not the same. I'm lost in a visual world. I try and take pictures of the things I see but they never quite describe the way I feel. Only writing can do that.

Driving home today the sky was so open and glorious. A jet stream lay across the sky, illuminated by the midday sun. Warmth burned at the edges of my chest as a hawk flew high above me. I ached with a sort of wrenching contentment as the moment passed and I realized the rest of my day would be spent at a desk.

*sigh*

I could have posted a picture of that but it wouldn't have communicated much. I heard a quote once, not sure who its by that said, "We read to know we are not alone." That's never been more true for me. And I hope that as I continue to write that I can be that for someone else.

Love.