I feel assaulted by social media. Anyone else? I close my eyes and feel as if they're spinning in their sockets with everything that I see. My ears tire of working to process all the filth that this world seems to pump out. In silence, even now, it seems inescapable.
I'm feeling world weary.
Maybe it's more that I am weary of people. Their opinions, or lack thereof. There is no knowledge of right and wrong anymore, just a cry for "niceness". There is no opinion that you won't be shamed out of. So rarely do people realize that niceness does not always equal goodness.
There is no inch of me that wants to be associated with any part of this world. That may be weird but if you know me you know that I've never been "normal".
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that I will not make sense to most of you. A lot of my issues were spurred on by watching the Super Bowl and its ridiculous commercials.
What a terrible way to spend a Sunday evening. And honestly if you like football, don't comment. It's not an argument. You can't argue me out of my dislike.
Anyway, screw football, that's not what's really bothering me. I lack peace. Refuge. I know the answer my faith would bring me, but I can't stay in the temple all day long. Sometimes, after I've been outside, taking in the openness of the sky, the tips of the trees, or the touch of the wind I feel a buzzing, a warmth in my chest. Contentment rather fleeting.
Sometimes that's enough.
So I ask you my friends, where do you find your peace? How do you shut out the worst of this place we call home?
Sorry for the downer post. More humor soon to come. With the downs come the cynical which is fun for everyone. And as you all know, I rock the cynical.
Much love
I think it's admirable of you to take a break long or short from facebook. It can be helpful, but I don't feel like a better person for wasting tons of time stalking people and comparing myself etc, so good work.
ReplyDeleteI totes get the not being able to be in the temple all the time. I haven't been for months, partially because I couldn't tolerate much outside of laying in bed for some of those months. But for me, when I REALLY need to find peace, I pray. I lay it ALL on the line, it's not beautiful or eloquent, I tell the man upstairs everything that's got me down/express whatever it is I'm feeling. It's nice to get it off my chest, even if I don't get the "answer" or "relief" I'm looking for right away. OR I call a friend or family member, usually one of my sisters because they're more sympathetic than my mom. :) Another thing lately, is that I focus on being my best because I can't always fix my situation or surroundings, but I can take the time for me, whether its a shower, nail painting, doing my hair pretty or cleaning my room. I focus on little accomplishments, and take it one thing and one day at a time.
Sorry that's a long comment. I'm starved for attention. Love ya.
I love Abby's comments. I feel the same way about prayer. I don't have to measure my words or worry what He's thinking. I just say it like it is. The best part is that I believe He's listening and loves me better than anyone. I wish I had my mom to talk to. She was great at listening, too. But she wasn't able to help me in the same way my Heavenly Father can. So ultimately He's the source of all answers... to everything. I trust Him and believe that with God, all things are truly possible. So that's where I turn for peace.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. So much of my last eighteen months was artificial and/or digital. I felt oppressed by it all, so we made some changes in my house. We don't eat out anymore. We eat steel cut oats every morning, I make homemade granola, pancakes with whole wheat flour, and other foods that I promise aren't breakfast related. I exercise 4 times a week. Curtis rides his bike to work. We've recommitted to making our scripture study and prayer (both personal and companionship) more meaningful. I feel happier because of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of the temple, Curtis and I hope to make a bit of a road trip some Saturday in March and go to the Sacramento Temple. Want to join us?