Look who's back again...

Word press was a bust. As was my last attempt. As was the 5k I said I was doing. You know, you're never a failure unless you stop trying and I have not stopped trying. In fact I've started doing.

A lot has happened since ya'll last heard from me. For one, I found out I'm gluten intolerant. That pretty much means that I'm allergic to wheat, barley, and rye. That's right. No more pizza, cookies, yumminess, happiness, or joy. Just kidding, it's not that bad. It was really rough when I first started everything but there is still so much for me to eat and it's honestly cured all my health issues I've been having lately. What issues are those, you ask?

Well they're the poop kind of issues. The ones that cause you stomach pains and keep you up. The ones that make you think your stomach is exploding or that someone is squeezing your intestines into pudding. I would go days without pooping and become oddly jealous that other people could poop. I know it sounds weird but until it's day 3 and you've consumed an entire bag of prunes along with some laxatives and a tearful prayer for God to take your life, you'll never understand. Pooping is where it's at.

For real though, I went to the emergency room thinking I had appendicitis. Nope. Your body just sucks.

But that's okay. Cause I've figured it out. As long as I stay away from gluten, my tummy works great.

Another pro in my discovery was that I've lost 10 lbs. I almost feel like my body was so screwed up from all the allergyness and glutenness that I've always been this weight and that the extra 10 lbs was just bloating and yucky. That's probably not true but we can pretend.

In other news, we got a gym membership. I don't really like the gym to be honest. Too many people attempting to look hot in the wrong place. You come to the gym to work out. Not to find a hook up, or to score, or to audition for a porno. I swear, ladies at the gym need to take into account that when they dress like a whore they're perpetuating the worst in society. Not only that but you're making me want to punch you in the ovaries. Grow up, be a woman, and take responsibility for your body.

Aaaaaaaaanyways, the other reason I'm not a fan of the gym is because I really love being outside. I love the trees, the sun, the blue of the sky, the clouds, the smell, everything. It takes me out of any misery I'm experiencing and helps me heal. I go to the gym under some sort of obligation to my bank account. When I'm outside, it's for me.

Regardless of how I feel, we're already signed up. It offers many different options and that is a plus. I can get some strength training in, which I never knew how to do before. I can also get back to doing a spin class which is my FAVORITE thing in the whole wide world. Spin class helped me loose all my weight before my wedding so I'm excited to get back to it.

In other news, I have no goals on the horizon other than to heal my body and rediscover who I've always been. You lose your identity when you get married, in a sense, and it's slowly coming back to me. There is power in realizing that you can respect and love yourself no matter what your spouse thinks of you. I'm not saying Ryan thinks I'm awful or anything to that degree. I'm just saying that basing your entire identity and self worth on what your spouse thinks of you isn't a healthy place to be. Nor is it fair to your spouse. Talk about pressure.

Something I've always known about my whole 'weightloss' journey is that it's never really been about weight loss. I just want to be healthy. The vain part of me wants to be super hot with the hair, and the face, and the body. And then I realize that, hell...I already AM super hot. In reality, I just want my body to function efficiently. I want to feel happy, and rested, and well fed (not overfed), and capable physically of doing what I need to do (like running from Zombies, or fulfilling my spy duties). Oh and I ALWAYS want to be able to poop. Seriously, those were some rough times ;)

Well guys. I've missed you. Missed blogging, and word vomiting, and laughing at my own jokes. Thanks for all the support. Here's to failing! And trying over and over again (and over and over and over and over and over and over and...)