Slowly But Surely

Hey kids.

There's this trend that I've noticed lately since everyone is having a child. It's the beauty and joy and hilarity of pregnancy pictures. And I'm not taking about legitimate pregnancy photo's where you undo the pants and roll up the shirt and then everyone gets to see sepia pictures of your stomach, no I'm referring to the hilarious week by week belly pictures. Exhibit A:

(P.S. I was literally sucking in for dear life. My body doesn't do my complaint justice). 

First off, before I offend everyone, let me just say that there is nothing wrong with the legitimate pregnancy pictures, or these week by week belly pictures. We're living in an age where we're able to document every step of a pregnancy and then plaster it all over the internet for friends and family. They're fun to look at and quite honestly, how awesome is that to have for the little one inside? Great stuff. I'm not hating, but I am giggling a little bit. Cause it's funny, and I'll tell you why. 

The aspect of these week by week pictures that just kill me are the chicks that document themselves at like 5 weeks (See exhibit A). Why? Is it in remembrance of your stomach that is soon to be lost? Cause, sweet heart, you don't look pregnant. Even worse, the girls that document at 21 weeks with a caption that reads, "Had to break into my size 2's! Eek!"

Okay, no.

No! Now I KNOW you're looking for compliments and if anything I'm going to put: "Wow! You're a whale!" Just to spite you. Please, post your belly pictures, but just when you're showing! Week after week of your skinny ass makes me want to punch a rabbit. And we all know that it's all about me anyway, right?  

Okay, I'm the worst, but you all know it's true. And for those of you that have given in and put: "You're such a cute preggo lady!" You've just lost the battle. And my friendship. Ready?

Reality

Just kidding. I'm not pregnant. That's definitely fat as you can see. Well, most people can see. I'm still bitter about my ward member that asked me if I was pregnant. I saw her again today and the poor thing was avoiding my gaze like I was Medusa. I secretly wanted to shout: "I've lost 10lbs!" Like it would help or something. 

Anyway, good news: my groin pull is healing! I've been doing slow physical activity and it's been doing just fine. I feel this giddiness inside me whenever I think about running again. I know now to take it slow, warm up, and cool down. It would be nice if I could just throw the hair into a pony tail, hop out the door, and run six miles but my body needs to adjust which is a hard thing to accept. 

As far as the diet is going, I'm seriously losing it. I've had pizza and soda two days in a row so far. Makes me ill saying it now but I've learned something from my recent diet dip and that is that I'm depressed. I wont go into detail because there are parts of my life that I keep secret. Fact is, things get rough for everyone and this happens to be a rough time for me. It's interesting because when I give in and eat bad food I have felt a legitimate rush of endorphins like I just exercised or something. How crazy-scary is that evidence? Food is my addiction, my friends. Even when I lose a bunch of weight I have this feeling that I will always think like a fat person. Does that bother me? Yes. Will it stop me? Absolutely not. 

Okay, so here it goes. I commit to all of you that I will do better this week with my diet. Let's clean it up, am I right? There is a fat person living in my brain but it's not up to them. It's up to me. 

*sigh* 

I've got this. 

P.S. Sorry about the swearword mom.