Slothful Be Thy Name...Or Is It..SALLY Be Thy Name? Yeah, That Sounds Right...

Sometimes I wonder where all the people who get my kind of humor are, you know? And it boils down to one questions. Does the problem reside with the entire state of California being humorless, or have I always just laughed so hysterically at my own jokes that I can't hear the crickets?...That might have been two questions. Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because tonight we hung out with some of Ryan's oldest friends and I found myself censoring my comments, which is bad because when I censor my comments I tend to stutter like I'm a mental patient waiting for my meds. Either that, or I possum with a smile plastered to my face like I'm totally confident. Which of course I am. Not. (P.S. You know how when you're faced with a threat your body has two reactions? Fight or flight? Well, there is a third reaction: Possum. Which is something I do daily. No fighting. No flighting. When faced with a threat you just sit there...like a possum. Anyway, so that's me explaining possum).

Now just to be clear, there was nothing wrong with Ryan's friends. They're actually legitimately cool people and I had a great time with them. The basis of this story is merely because I had SEVERAL jokes I wanted to crack but didn't because, as I've been advised, people need to get used to me before I unleash myself.

I had this experience once where I was with an unfamiliar group of friends and they all knew each other but I didn't really know them and we were all singing karaoke. Anyway, the boys all did a song together that was all about bein' men, or being angry at the world, or eating beef jerky, I don't know, so the girls felt they had to do a song. They chose an S Club 7 song or something and one of them turned to me and said, "Do you wanna sing with us? You can sing with us if you want! Come do a girl song!"

To which I replied, "...Uhh, I didn't ever really listen to S Club 7."

"What were you doing when you were 10?" she asked half joking.

"Uh, I don't know. Light saber fighting in my room?" I got a couple of laughs from the boys in the group but the girl ignored my comment like I'd just asked her to play dungeons and dragons with me.

How is that not hilarious? So I loved Star Wars! I still do! I used to cry in my bed cause I wanted to be a Jedi! Does that worry you? I also want to go to hair school. Does that comfort you?

My point is that perhaps my humor isn't everyones cup of tea. I still find my own husband taking me more literally than he should at times. But being in a new area new and different people makes you feel like you're all alone. I just wish every once in a while that I didn't have to put a sensor on my nerd. Someday, perhaps :)

Okay, so hey guys. I've honestly been the most slothful person in the world. So slothful that they changed the word slothful to Sally in the bible. The seven deadliest sins are now: Wrath, greed, pride, lust, envy, gluttony, and Sally. But here I am, finally updating my adoring fans on my humorless life.

Wanna hear some good news? Well, I got a job! Oh yes. No more mice for me! I got a fantastic job with the help of my dear good friend Kat. I'm going to be a secretary for Pinnacle Alarms which is a Utah based company. My official title is FOM which stands for Falsdkjg Office Manager! Official, yeah? (I totally can't remember what the 'F' stands for.......so far so good, huh? Yeah, I rule at this job). Okay, so in addition to getting paid $1500 a month, the company gives each FOM an ipad. They're trying to do all the scheduling electronically and I seriously get to reap the benefits. I start April 1st and I'm super pumped. Quitting my last job? Best. Decision. Ever.

So there you have it. There's your Sally fix for the day. I know it's been too long and I hope you guys didn't get the shakes. Also, try not to go for the harder stuff when I don't post like, hyperboleandahalf.com or failblog. Trust me. This is the good stuff.

Happy thought of the day: I miss Utah. This is also an annoyance of the day since I'm a thousand years away but also happy because it made me think of all of you. Also, I've had a meal on the table nearly every single night this week. I tell you what, I feel like quite the little house wife! Also, Cindy bought me these adorable easter towels to help make our apartment more festive. Now all I need are one of those cute easter egg wreaths to put outside my door. I kinda want to make one myself. See if I can push that whole house wife thing to a new level! Aww yeah! Another happy thought is although I miss Utah, I absolutely adore my husband. I know this isn't a new thing but it's like I'm twitter pated all over again. He's such an amazing man. The Lord knew what he was doing when he put us in each others paths. I am so blessed in an overwhelming way. Not in the cheesy, 'he tells me I'm beautiful when I'm sick blah blah blah' kind of way. But in the 'we work hard and sacrifice together and have seen each other at our worst and still LOVE each other' kind of way.

Annoyance of the day: Kitty is driving me insane. We've given her better shelter though. No more cardboard boxes. Another annoyance is stupid day light savings time. I swear on my life that if I ever met the dumb farmer that invented day light savings time or if day light savings time was ever spawned into the form of a human I would gladly watch that person die. I might even take pleasure in it. Before crappy-McCrapface-Mr. Parker daylight savings time I was waking up at 8 AM and going to bed at 10 or 11. 8 AM!!! Do you know how awesome and healthy that is? Now I wake up at gay 12 PM and go to bed at 1. I hate you day light savings time. I hate you so bad that I wrote you a poem:

Hate Hate Hate

Hate die die

Kill kill

Poop

Booger

Ugly

*sticks out tongue*

(P.S. I'm sorry there are no pictures. I totally pulled a Mr. Parker on you. I swear, we'll try and be more interesting and take pictures of our life pretty soon. Either that or I'll just post the wedding pictures that I got in the mail recently. I know...I'm the new deadly sin).