Earwigs And Improving My Part of the Puzzle

So I saved an Earwigs life today and the reason that this is significant is because he was completely ungrateful. Anyway, I know this might be a rough blog today because I don't really have any pictures and if you're like me, reading a blog post without pictures is like doing homework. And not just any homework, chemistry homework, which by the way I still hate you Mr. Parker. I hope your son fails in little league.

*Phew* Glad I got that off my chest....

These past few days have been fairly boring. I got a temporary job which you really don't want to know about. I'm working in the kitchen. Upon my second day I believe, I became entirely disgusted to find out that every drawer contained mouse poop. I could have died. Really. In addition to that, there were new species growing in the bottom of the fridge that were feeding off a chocolate/teryaki sauce/mystery goo that was plastered to the side. It nearly did me in. I think the Lord knew I needed some recuperation because the next day I got sick.

So I've been sick. I've been playing these really fun 'escape games' or 'point and click' games where you are stuck in a situation and you have to find certain objects to get you out. They're totally useless and funner than sin. I got nothing done during my sick time. Which leads me to some rambling that I have to get out of my system.

I wish it wasn't so hard to propel myself forward. You have such a sense of self when you're single. Then suddenly when you get married you're sharing your life with someone else and you find yourself rethinking everything. Not in bad ways. Just uncomfortable ways. It's like you're right back in nursery again and you find the kid next to you taking your toy. You want to lash out irrationally and take it back but then you realize that you'll get in trouble if you do. You need to share. When did that become such a hard thing to do? The other thing I've been going through is this sort of puzzle syndrome (yes, I just coined this term). For example, when I was single (and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this) I had this idea that I was a lowly puzzle piece waiting to find my other half and that once I found Ryan the puzzle would be made whole and everything would fall into place. Well it doesn't fall into place. You're still an individual and you still have to work on improving yourself. I don't know why in this stupid world I thought that I would suddenly be done with personal growth. It's not something I consciously THOUGHT would happen, it was just a weird expectation I had hidden in the back of my mind where I keep the rest of my insane thoughts (like how I think that baked goods made from scratch are less calories than those you buy at a stores...see? Insane). I thought that perhaps my life would go through a series of musical montages like in movies till I got old and died. It sounds completely insane and you know what? It IS completely insane.

Anyway, the POINT is marriage is good and wonderful and there IS a sense of wholeness and completeness that you find sharing your life with your best friend. But that doesn't mean that you can forget about working on your piece of the puzzle. I forgot about that temporarily and now I have to work on motivating myself to be better. I know I can do it, blah, blah, blah, yeah, whatever. Right now? Right this second? It just seems like a lot. But I will share my goals, you ready? Mmmkay:

Read Scriptures

Serve Ryan

Gratitude Journal

Find a job (ASAP)

Eat Less + Drink more water (Seriously, I'm blowing up)

Get the office cleaned up (It's a total wreck)

Master the art of cooking chicken (I've either undercooked or overcooked chicken a trillion times and I'm determined to perfect it).

Baby steps my friends...baby steps. I'm not really worried about myself. I know I can do better and accomplish more, it's just today. I hope this post didn't come off as depressed, cause I'm not depressed. I've just neglected to improve myself.

Happy thought of the day: Kitty has been scratching our screen door making the tiny holes even bigger so we got her a scratcher. Unfortunately, we're not sure she knows what it's for. Ryan caught her playing with it the other day, not to mention she still uses the screen as a scratching post. Not really a happy thought but anything about kitty is still happy. The other happy thought is that Ryan and I had a good Valentines day. He got me a dozen chocolate roses and I made him dinner which consisted of rolls, broccoli, and chicken (that I undercooked, thus the goal). I set out candles and we watched a Nicholas Cage movie which, I'm adding an 8th goal: Never watch another Nicholas Cage movie ever. Never. Ever. It was fun :)

Annoyance of the day: You know, there hasn't been much annoyance other than my above ramblings. Today has been pretty good! I cleaned up the house so I'm feein' alright. Oh! I remember! That stupid earwig! Yeah, that was annoying.