Days 45-70

Hey all!

So to start out I have a story:

We woke up that morning to sun pouring through the window. Relieved, I sighed a smile and thought that today would be a beautiful day to run.

"I thought it was supposed to rain today," Ryan said.

"Well, I guess they predicted wrong," I replied.

"Stupid weather man," grumbled Ryan.

"Psh, I'm happy about the weather! Pretty day for my run!"

We treated ourselves to some breakfast and as I put off the morning jog, clouds started to move in. At first they weren't too terrifying though later they turned an angry hue of dark gray.

"Looks like the weather man was right," I said grimly looking out the window.

"Better get out there quick!" Ryan warned.

I gathered up Penny, did my warm up, and headed out the door. As we drove to our spot, the rain became more persistent. Penny looked at me from the back seat with a sort of teenage defiance.

"Come on Penny," I said confidently. "We've got this."

So we started our jog.

It was a war against mother nature. The rain soaked us clear to the bone and the wind was blowing so hard my lips were flapping. The clouds were now a pissed off black and they were pelting us with angry tears. Penny kept shooting these scathing looks in my direction as she started to look more and more like a giant wet rat. And me? I felt like I was in the middle of battle in the movie Brave Heart. In my mind I was conquering a freakin' country. Sweat mixed with rain drenched my entire body. It was so invigorating. I felt more alive than I have in awhile. Facing the elements and winning. Now THAT's a story.

Anyway, so that's the end of my thang. Fortunately for you guys, I took pictures of our soakedness. Penny's face is my favorite. You can tell she's furious. Also, my forehead looks gargantuous in this picture. There is a little distortion, although, my forehead is pretty big normally.

Gotta love that face.

So that particular day was about...two weeks ago? Let me give you a quick update. Since then, I've done the following:

A. Pulled a groin muscle (minor setback right? Keep reading)

B. I've lost 9.4lbs and have continued to lose

C. I've been doing yoga to keep up some sort of exercise. Unfortunately, I was feeling better with my groin muscle so I thought I'd do some stretches I normally skip. The next morning? Pain. Screwed.

D. I came into work one rainy day and slipped on the ground. I fell on my knees and my legs splayed out aggravating my groin muscle even more.

E. Yesterday I went on a short walk with Ryan and Penny. We turned around early because my muscle started to ache.

F. Today I can't sit without pain.

I don't know what to do guys. I pushed myself so hard with running and perhaps that's why this is happening. As I write this I'm tearing up because I literally don't know what to do. I'm still losing weight and I still want to do this. I'm just so disappointed with myself even though there isn't much I can do. It's not like I was wimping out or anything. I was pushing hard. In fact, all of it has made me reassess where I'm at. Even if I was able to run for this month I would have never have been ready for that 10K. I would have still given it my absolute all, but I need to start looking at my abilities realistically. I've never been an athlete or even done something like this for a long period of time. It doesn't mean I can't or that I'm quitting, I just need to see myself for where I am. No comparing, no judging. I am where I am and if that means that I'm going to be running a 13 minute mile for six months then so be it. But I will get there. I am not defeated. Just a little deflated. I desperately wish I could get myself out there again. The fact that it hurts this bad means I need to see a doctor. I'm afraid it might be more serious that I originally thought. If you guys have any suggestions or anything about what I need to ask my doctor, or even what kind of doctor to see, that would be great. Again, I have no idea what I'm doing. Which is most likely why I'm injured.

The funny part of all this is that we've been joking at work about it. We call it "The Femur Cancer". I'll often clutch my thigh and make pained faces when Tiffany or Aaron wants me to do something. Either that or I'll say, "Sorry, I can't. Because of the cancer." I'm sure the joke will get old soon but I laugh every time. I really am hilarious guys. Like, everyone wants to be my friend cuz of it.

Alright. I love you all. I'm prolly going to go cry in my pillow and contemplate all the runs I could have done the past two weeks. *sigh*